My Ride Home (With You)

I leaned in closer to smell the scent of your perfume. You changed it. It is no longer that sweet fragrance you used to wear back when I first met you.

You’re also very quiet tonight. We haven’t uttered a word to each other ever since our we rode this cab.

You changed your baller too. I haven’t seen you wear this one. Is it new? You used to wear the red one. The one you bought last 2011? The one I borrowed for a couple of weeks from you and then I eventually returned, because I figured that the whole “baller fashion” isn’t really my thing?

I know this might come off sleazy, but, you have not tried holding my hand too. I mean, before, we’d have these crazy, petty fights about how you’re always trying to be cheesy and how you’re touchiness is creeping me off. Well, to be honest, I actually adored those petty fights. I crave for those touches. I miss those moments. What exactly happened in between then and now?

Look! You’re even wearing your headphones. I mean, okay, yes, I am also wearing my headphones but, what happened to the two of us? We used to be so close.

The street lights looked extra gloomy tonight, have you noticed that?

Oh, I’m drenched from the drizzle outside. I forgot to bring my umbrella. Wait! You have an umbrella and you didn’t even bother to shelter me from the drizzle?
I mean, I know that it’s not your responsibility to do so; we’re not even “officially” together. We’re just… we’re just… what are we exactly?
You told me once upon a time that you loved me and I, being the naive girl that I am answered your confession with a “thank you, I am truly grateful”. I didn’t know what I was thinking then. I was foolish. I should have replied with an “I love you too– very much”, but I couldn’t.

And I know that I can never say it anymore.

well, at least not in this world I won’t.

For as I called for the cab to pull over, I looked at you.

Not a trace left.

He beside me looked at me– puzzled.

I simply smiled and went off.

A ride home with a stranger, but all that time, I imagined him to be you.

That is probably the perfect scenario that we’d have if we see each other again someday. 2 strangers, not talking, just sitting there, side by side, with troubled minds full of questions we’d never dare to ask each other; with heavy hearts burdened by the fact that, once upon a time, we fell in love, and that love remained only at that certain point in time; buried under resentment and pain and unfulfilled promises; never to be felt by our hearts ever again.

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