Massive Love

When I first loved you, we loved but it was contained. We had something remarkably beautiful but we were always cautious, because of my fragility and because you wanted “us” to last. It was very similar to ascetism. We denied feelings– our feelings, for we have fears, fears that overshadowed the beauty of what we had.

I remember the meekness in your eyes. The boy inside the man you grew up to be. Inside you was this longing and you found me, and somehow I sufficed that emptiness you felt. We were perfect; like 1 soul separated in to 2 entities; we were bound to find each other.

I remember seeing butterflies trapped inside these candy jars back when I visited this museum. I remember feeling extreme astonishment as I watch these colorful beauties flap their little wings… I remember having this extreme urge to set them free.

Our love, divine but suppressed is similar to those butterflies. We were meant to fly and to fall freely for one another but we were boxed in– boxed in by our fears.

Love, they say, must be crazy, mad and wild, and I wholeheartedly agree now that we’re off to venture without each other.

We had love seething through the very chambers of our beating hearts, and in there they shall be trapped forever.

Our love was passionate and wild and impulsive, but we never got a chance to see our love grow that way.

We were livid and broken, destroyed and beyond repair when we lost each other, for we knew back then that we had nothing to anchor our hearts on.

We beat our chests, blaming ourselves for our lists of “what ifs” that could go on forever.

We knew that we had a shot, but we were the unlucky ones.

We had the potential to grow maddeningly in love with each another, but we had to cut it for we’re both too afraid of its capacity to grow larger than life… larger than the 2 of us combined…

And now it haunts me, for I may have lost that majestic kind of love, that Romeo and Juliet kind of love, when I lost you…

It breaks my heart for having to give up on something so powerful that not even the forces of death could defy–

I love you and of course, it’s too late for we’re merely intersecting lines. We could have won the jackpot prize if and only if we surrendered to what we were feeling back then… surrendered to the words that will forever be at the tip of our tongues waiting for that perfect timing which we both know might never happen in this existence ever again…

This breaks my heart but I know that pain is temporary and same goes for this time and space, this earth and place, that we’re battling through. When I fell in love with your entirety I knew that we’d be each other’s happily ever after, maybe not in this existence, but I know that someday, in another dimension, we’ll right the wrongs of our naivety here on earth.

And when that day comes forth I swear to unleash this transcendental kind of love that I have for you.

When I meet you again someday, I know that we’ll love, and this time it will be the kind of love that’s massive enough to swallow the entire universe… including the 2 of us.

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