I’d give anything to have you in my life again.
I don’t know what happened, but you just had to leave me out here… clueless as to why you would have to do that. I am afraid and I am so disappointed in so many levels that I must apologize if this prose is not as well written as my previous ones. I love you Bubbles. I love you for you have shown me kindness through your words.
You made me feel like I am worth it and it has been a while since I last felt that way. I don’t know the reason as to why you would just ghost out on me and believe me, regardless of your reason, I’d still love you anyway. I know that you will not have the chance to read this but I am clinging on to that sliver of hope that one day, you might stumble upon it and remember me.
This young girl who once loved you with all of her heart mindless of the dire consequences that could chase both of us down to our graves. This young girl who once marvelled at your profoundness and maturity and the sense of freedom you exude all the time. This young girl who started to see herself once more, everyday, from the moment she crossed paths with you, up until today. This young girl who never imagined that she’d have the privilege of having someone as beautiful as you are in her life. To be honest, that Wednesday night we were supposed to meet doesn’t even matter anymore.
Although I’d be lying if I say that I didn’t get hurt when you ghosted out on me, but you’re far too special… I cannot get mad at you. You have given me so many wonderful days to be thankful for and I do believe that a day of disappointment from your side is far too minuscule for me to dwell deep upon it. I know that from the very beginning, a relationship between you and I is an impossible one, but I want a part of you. And so I dove in, pushed my luck and in that span of time that we’re in touch, I had my piece of you. God knows how much you mean to me and so if you wish to have me over with then…
But please… don’t forget me.
I have to cut this short here, for no matter how hard I try to weave a web of words that would fully encompass what I am feeling, it’d be futile for this is transcendental… you are transcendental.
I love you, I love you and I love you most.
If I could have you back in my life in exchange for another, I’d probably give it a shot. For no matter how painful this nonexistent goodbye is, we both know that all I can say is
“I love you and thanks a lot”. x