I want to leave town so bad. I want to leave this place as soon as I get that much awaited diploma. I want to see the world through the eyes of a 20 year old something. I want to find myself in the middle of a busy buzz in New York City, among the quiet monks of a Southeast Asian Buddhist Temple and within the historic streets of Spain.
I want to have freedom as my companion. I want to be the one who allows and prohibits all the things that I am bound to do. I want to meet people and see myself through their eyes. I want to find a loving home away from the home I have here.
They say that home is where you are wanted. Ah, I wish to be wanted. I wish to be craved for.
I want to be with people who’d look me at me and tell me that I am important to them. I want to be with people who will not doubt the words that come out from the gaps between my teeth. I want to come home to a place wherein I’d be received by warm hugs and sweet kisses.
I want to go home.
Let me put it out there, I am happy to be here but I believe that I’d be happier elsewhere. I’d be happier looking at a different portion of the sky. I’d be happier drinking coffee at some quirky coffee shop with a name I could not pronounce.
I want language. I want a different language. I want to bend what I know with new words and conjugations and I want to learn. I want to say my piece in a language that’s foreign to me.
It will be hard but I doubt that I’ll ever regret packing my clothes and moving elsewhere permanently.
I want to find a home for if life is what I believe it is, this could not possibly be the perfect fit for me.
In between the monotonous “How was your day”s and “Okay”s, I would like to believe that there, out there somewhere, these words could mean so much more and I will not stop until I find that home.
Life is supposed to be wonderful and exciting and maybe this is just the beginning for me.
I want to find my family.
A family crafted by fate and laughter and beer and tears and freedom and love.
I want to be with these people who would embrace me without bias and disapproval.
I want to be trusted. I want to know what it feels like to be trusted.
Now I am here, months away from graduation and I am pretty sure I won’t fail to be there when the plane departs.
I am bound to begin the journey of my dreams.
So to the children who’d like to escape, grab your luggages and let’s create a path for others to follow.
Let’s go home.