I have been very negative about everything.
I am unsure whether it’s just because of the different hardships I braved through my 2015, but I realised that I can no longer keep on having my light inside my pocket of failed hopes and dreams.
Having said this, I am claiming 2016 as my year of redemption.
I will redeem my soul and my glow from the oblivion that I have quickly clothed myself with soon after I got my very first rejection.
I know that the pangs of 2015 still has their clasp on me but I will persevere so that I could remove every bite that’s piercing through my body– through my soul.
One of the few silver linings of 2015 however includes my newfound hunger to achieve my dreams.
Due to the endless heartaches my 20 year-old self had to endure for months, my 21 year-old self realised the importance of unclasping the safety gear and jumping for the free fall.
Fall freely, that for a moment you’d experience what it’s like to fly. You might not make it out alive, you might get hurt by the fall but at least for a while you had a glimpse of the view, you had the taste of what it’s like to soar and because you have experienced all of these, no matter how impactful your landing may be, I bet you my soul you will try once more.
A lot of people may ask me as to why I am going for something that’s farfetched for someone like me when I am employed by one of the biggest (if not the biggest) movie outfits of the industry in my country?
And I answer them with the same old glee I used to have.
“Because I have dreams. I want this. I am young, I have nothing left to lose. I want to test my wings now that my heart’s full of vigour and enthusiasm. I believe that there’s more to life than “just this”. I am living the dreams of other people but what good do I get out of that? I want to live my own dream too. I cannot just parade around with a plastered grin on my face, trying to convince everybody that I am happy, when I am not because I am undoubtedly not. I want more and I don’t want to cease trying to claim what I want just because I am living the life other people want to live. I am thankful but I can’t let gratitude stop me from going after what I want just because I am living a better life than most people. There’s more to life than bragging rights. I am more than that.”
And so I believe that this year is the year that I will just go for the free fall.
I am praying that whilst falling I could learn how to navigate and fly but if flying is not yet in my cards this year, well hey, at least I got to experience the soar.
Nonetheless, I shall continue praying for my journey.
I will continue encouraging people so that they wouldn’t stop following their passions as well.
Let us all thrive.
We might lose the battle but if we don’t try we’re setting ourselves up to lose the war.
Keep on dreaming.
Keep on loving.
We got this.