What You Should Know

What you should know is that I feel like I am falling for you and that it is wrong.

I have been here before. I know what it’s like to fall in love with boys like you and I don’t want to feel that way again.

Of all the girls I know, I should be the one smart enough to veer away from boys like you.

Boys who try to subtly tell me that they want me every time they sit next to me during wine nights– boys who try to make me feel all giddy every time they compare me to their favourite heroine– I am done.

I know that you know that you have the body of a Greek sculpture but I am not your Aphrodite.

I have been here before and I know that this will end with me trying to drown the sound of my crying by burying my head on pillows.

I know that this will end with me trying to forgive you when there’s really no one else to forgive but my own soul.

I know that this will end with you trying to apologise or run as far as you can from me.

I know that this well end with a scarlet letter flashed across my breasts “Mistress”.

I am done.

I am done with boys like you.

And yet there’s the thrill of falling in love with someone who goes home in the arms of another woman.

There’s this escape wherein you know that you’re valued by this man who is already pledged to another woman. There’s this vigour in knowing that you are prettier, a lot more alluring than the latter that makes it so difficult for you to realise that you are worth so much more than being the second woman.

I am done with boys like you.

I really am.

I have learned my lesson 2 years ago and I shall never cry that way again.

If you want to play my game, I shall let you… but you must know that this will not end well for you.

Because I promise that you shall love me, but I won’t ever love you.

 

Never again.

 

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