Love’s Favourite

In a classroom where love is teaches– why am I love’s favourite?

I am that student who never fails to fail, to falter, to bend and to break.

Why am I love’s favourite to hate?

When I have given all that I can give.

My time, my self, my art, my soul, and yet I have nothing left to reap.

I devote my time, honing my skills. I have become kinder, less demanding, more forgiving, and yet I have nothing but sermons to receive.

I do my best. I try my hardest.

To give my all, without return but I never past love’s test.

I have offered my arm, bruised and scarred and blue from the fingers that touched me and then left.

I am beginning to believe that I’ve become love’s hidden mistress, the one who mourns in silence never screaming out for help.

I have told myself that maybe all of this is but a trial.

For me to overcome, for me to learn as a child.

But for every time, I give my heart, so ready to love and to learn

I never get anything in return.

Maybe that’s love’s new test

To learn how to love and never expect the best.

But for every time, I try to keep my heart at bay and my mind at ease

I learn to realise that I’m always at a miss.

I have given my all!

All of my prayers lifted up above, because I just want to fall!

Carelessly, dangerously, I just want to fall in love.

But love never gives me anything for me to hold.

And now I am here again, scraping for the love that I sold my soul to.

And now I’m still singing the same old blues.

I don’t know what else to give.

I don’t know if I still can give.

I’ve been rhyming all of their names to every melody I sing.

And so I ask myself, is love teaching me once more?

Why am I love’s favourite when it comes to closing doors?

Maybe love’s not for me after all.

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