Here are 10 letters to 10 different people who made my 2017:
- We’ve known each other for almost a year now and I have to say that I loved you on all of those days amidst your obvious disdain for my talkativeness. I love waking up next to you; and while we seem to may have failed to become lovers, I want you to know that for all of the days that kept me up at night, you were the thought that persists on my mind. I have never stopped loving you that day we had our first date last January 2017. I think I will love you forever but it’s time for me to let go.
- You are my biggest what if last time I flew to Osaka during the final days of September last year. Oh how long will I have to wait for me to feel your touch, to kiss your skin, to hold your hand? I can only draft a particularly elaborate fantasy in my head as to how it would feel like to go dancing with you under the starry nights of Kyoto; or how it would feel like to ride your back when I’m running out of breath as we climb the Fushimi Inari together; or how it would just be so wonderful to wake up next to your face, with your blond hair all messed up in between my fingers. Maybe this year is our year. Maybe you’d be mine.
- You are the best adventure of my Osaka evening. We lost each other on the train exits of Umeda, but eventually found ourselves both hungry-drunk by the river of Dotonbori that same day. We ended up talking about history and the world and how it is your dream to board a spaceship heading to Mars. You’re the smart one and we talked in a speed that no one could ever catch up on. You’re now in Tokyo, and my California boy, I can’t wait to eat Okonomiyakis with you again.
- You became my shelter for the year that was. You treated me like a sister, the big one I never had. We would drink coffee on your balcony, while smoking cigarettes we now have sworn never to puff again. Some nights we would wake up at 2 am, forever boggled by the men in our lives who love us less than we deserve and so we would drink the ungodly hours away only to wake up with a bad headache the next day. You’re a true soul sister. Why are we drifting apart?
- You are my sister and we’ve been through so much together in a short span of time. From midday drinking as I try to escape my old officemates to partying with drag queen ’til 5 am in the morning. I would cook for us whenever we go home to our little place in the secluded area in the city. I remember those nights when we would find ourselves in that same old spot in Chotto Matte, drinking our favourite highball together. We’ve seen each other’s souls and so when you had to leave for California, I knew that I lost a piece of me. You just inboxed me a couple of minutes ago and you’re forlorn. You are my family, let’s drink this one out.
- You got diagnosed with clinical depression a few months before I got my diagnosis. We’ve been friends for 7 years now and while we may not see each other ever so often I know that you will always be there for me should I need the support. Last time I saw you was before I left for Christmas. I was paranoid inside the clinic, and you went there for me because you know that you wouldn’t dare to find me alone once I get the verdict of my status. I am not ill, and you were there to witness that sigh of relief. I will love you for the rest of my life.
- It’s funny how I always end up blackmailing you whenever I need your support. I would always inbox you with messages like “I’m heading to Havana alone and you know that 3 minutes in I’d get hit on, and I’m drunk and high risk, would you really want me to sleep with a random stranger?”. And even if you’re constantly late to my red flag nights, you always show up. I wish that you’d find the happiness and peace I found when I flew to Japan all by myself. God knows you deserve the world.
- You are one of the rare ones who have seen me pass out from too much drinking. I remember being your constant companion whenever you felt like drinking the night away. I would never forget how you held me close that time I got crowned as “Queen of Margarita” for consuming the most number of Margaritas in one sitting. You were a constant. I love you dear.
- I remember texting you things like “Where are you I need to loosen up.” And you would show up at the lobby of my office building looking tired but definitely ready to get down and all emotional with me. That night at El Tomatito when I drank so much vodka with you will probably be a highlight in our friendship. I am here for your crazy nights, love, hit me up.
- You became a mother and a sister to me last year. I remember you setting me up with my first ever one night stand with that guy that August night. You kept me sane and you saw yourself in me. I miss you so much dear motha, you have given me so much love and support, I am now endowed to give another “us”, the same gift.
These are the 10 people of my 2017. God knows you have a piece of my heart.